This’ll be the last entry I make on this profile. I guess at this point I no longer need it since our story has ended. I really wish you would of said yes. There’s no one else I’d rather live my life with so now I have to spend the rest of it on my own. Don’t get me wrong, my own hand had a play in this and I do blame myself for everything that went wrong. You made a huge mistake letting me go……because no one will ever love you as much as I did…..
It’s been 3 weeks since you broke up with me…..I miss the goodnights, the I love you’s, the baby’s, the honey’s, the laughs, the future….
Not a day goes by that I’m not ok. I feel like I’ve had the happiness ripped out of my heart. From the beginning I knew I deserved better and I thought time would help me change my mind about you but it never did. As much as you tried, you were always selfish and cold. You never deserved my love. But I gave it to you anyway because it’s not about deserving, it’s about giving a reason to and you gave me a reason to love you more than anything in this world. One day you too will understand what it feels like to love a person the way I love you, unconditionally but as of now you don’t. You don’t understand what love is. You may or may not feel like this about someone someday but I would of gone to the ends of the world for you. I would of given my life for you. Instead, I’m laying in bed…breaking down as usual. My sleep schedule is so fucked up, I’m so stressed out and depressed. I wish I never met you but even that’s a lie. No matter what I will always know that you and I are meant to be…..but as of now I can’t be your friend…I’m not ready. I honestly can’t just be friends. If you honestly feel like I’m worth it and you honest to god need me in your life then win me back. Because I’m not chasing after you anyone. You have my information so if you feel I’m worth it then by all means try. If you don’t agree with me then I understand…but I kindly ask you to lose my info and if this is what you choose to go with then, I love you Genny, and I hope life treats you well. I hope you grow up to be amazing as I anticipated. Goodbye.
For the first time, in a really long time, I prayed. I grabbed the rosemary above my bed and I prayed. Please don’t go. I can’t stop crying because not only did I lose the love of my life but my best friend as well.
At this point in my life I wouldn’t be surprised if I die alone. I’m honestly a really shit person and I’ve fucked up my relationships with everyone around me. I’ve brought this on myself.
I’m a mess. I can’t express myself without you going crazy on me. I really need you right now and this depressions making me sick. I’m on my own I guess.
My family doesn’t need me. You don’t need me. My friends don’t need me. I really feel like running away to go into solitude. I can never do anything right, no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to do anything right for anyone.
Lately, I’ve been really looking forward to going to sleep because its there that I get to see you. The happy you. And as crazy as it sounds, I feel your hugs and your kisses and your warmth. You have no idea how happy I am in those dreams.
I should of been a better boyfriend….I really fucked up what we used to have with my stupidity. I miss you and at this point I can only blame myself for the way things are. I just hope that you continue to love me because I’ll always love you.
I love you and no matter what I’m going to wait for you. Hopefully you’ll understand my reasoning and feel the love that I have for you because sweetheart, I’m going to spend my life waiting if I have to because I know damn well that you’re the one and I’m going to be the man who proves to you that in the end, everything’s going to be ok =]